Monday, June 05, 2006

Yeah, Yeah. I'm Slacking. Deal With It.

Jeez, I've been busy. Work has been kicking my ass, and when I'm not there, I'm cleaning, shopping and prepping for the BF's impending arrival. Basically, I've had no time for sleep, let alone time to come up with a decent post. That includes today. I've got just enough time to go over the basics of the weekend. So, without futher ado...

Funniest Shit I've Ever Heard as a Bartender...

Redneck Male Customer: Do y'all have Cherry McGullicuddy's?

Fabulous Bartender (Me): No. Sorry, we don't.

RMC: What about regular Dr. McGullicuddy's?

Me: Nope. But I do have Rumpleminze. They're pretty much the same.

RMC: Hell no. I can't drink that shit. I gotta drive.

***For those of you who aren't familiar with McGullicuddy's and Rumpleminze, they're minty flavored liquors, usually done as shots. McGullicuddy's is a MUCH milder liquor than Rumpleminze, but still, IT'S BOOZE.

I'm Just Sayin'...

If you're very tall and you're dumb enough to wear a yellow shirt to a bar, you should neither expect not to have a "Big Bird" joke tossed your way, nor should you be pissed of by it. It's your own damned fault, stupid.

And the Award for Best Acrobatics Goes To...

...The Drunk Guy on the Bike. I swear to God, I'm not making this up. While walking out to my car after work, I watched a drunk man on a bike run in to a car, flip over his handlebars and land on the car's hood. Score: A perfect ten.

Drunk Chicks are Funny...

On the drive home, I saw a girl hobbling, by herself, down Sheffield Ave. On her right foot, she wore a four inch stiletto. On her left foot was the matching shoe, minus the heel. Ah, vanity.

Overall, a very good weekend I think.


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