Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Stealing a Page

Seeing as how I'm utterly unable to form a cohesive thought today, I thought I'd steal a page from my friend Pat (this is NOT an insult to his writing ability) and jot down some random shit that's floating around in my head.

  • I'm convinced that absolutely NOTHING good can come from wandering the streets drunk at 4 o'clock on a Sunday morning. Driving home from work the other day, I witnessed two fights, one near pedestrian death by a Cadillac and a Jeep smashed in to a light pole.
  • If you're married to someone who works in a bar, it would be wise to NOT get wasted and abuse her co-workers. If you do behave reprehensibly, however, it would be advisable to at least apologize.
  • I haven't had Dr. Pepper in years, and now I remember why. Holy crap, it makes me burp like crazy. What do they put in that stuff?
  • I'm pretty certain Father & Sons Restaurant tried to kill me last night. A word of advice, DO NOT order the Italian Beef. You'll be hugging porcelain all night.
  • I tried out a new grocery store today. I've decided that I prefer my local one better. I'll take dealing with screaming Mexican children over playing bumper-carts with self-important Lincoln Park bitches any day.
  • Still on the subject of groceries, does anyone REALLY cook anymore? Going up and down every aisle, I saw microwavable rice bags (which I must admit, I love), complete meals in a box, pre-cut fruit & veggies, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Meat products, in a box? That can't possibly be good for you.
  • Pure Beech sheets rock. Seriously, it's like sleeping on a cloud. Huge props to Bed, Bath and Beyond.
And finally...
  • What's with these idiots on their cell phones in the bar at 3:00A.M.? Who the hell are they calling, anyways? I've said it before and I'll sat it again...someone better be maimed or dead if you're calling me at that God-awful hour.
Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone.

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