Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Fill In the Blank

Well, it was another long and boring weekend at the bar. The Cubs got their asses kicked once again, which meant that the pickings were slim as far as good customers go. I had to throw a regular customer out, which wasn't fun, but other than that, both nights were pretty uneventful.

So, as it usually goes on quiet nights, the topic of conversation amongst the few of us there turned to sex. Here's just a random sample:

Talking with two Asian-American regulars and their buddy Ross (the whitest man on the planet), I discovered that both Mark and Kevin have "Reverse Yellow Fever," meaning they're only attracted to white girls. Ross, on the other hand, loves hot Asian chicks. Interesting.

Also, when Ross was leaving, I asked him where he was heading off to. He said, "I'm going home to have sex with Miss Michigan." I've supplied a picture of the State of Michigan. Look closely and you'll understand what he meant. Poor bastard.

Later in the evening, we ended up playing a game called "In My Pants." The object is to start the sentence with an actual movie title, and end it with "in my pants," so that it makes sense. Here was my choice:

"Who's That Girl (bad Madonna movie) in my pants."

John, the doorman's choice:

"Anaconda in my pants."

Got it? Good. Because I want to hear what all of you can come up with. C'mon! I know how creative you guys are. Let's hear it. In lieu of good stories to tell you, I've decided I need you to entertain me. I'll post your responses on Wednesday.

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