Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Things I Miss

If you haven't already heard the news, this Trixie has snagged herself a man. Yep, that's right. No more single-girl days for this Fairy. He's wonderful, in every sense of the word. There's just one thing wrong with him - he lives 9000 miles away from me at the moment. While the plan is to move to be with him, both of us have prior commitments that won't allow that to happen until the fall. Until then, all we have are expensive airplane tickets, e-mail and telephones to keep us connected.

We've just spent a very happy week together, and he'll be back again soon, this time for over a month. The times in between, however, are difficult for us. While I look forward to the future we'll share together, I can't help but miss so much about him in the times we're apart. It's the little things, you know? Those things that make him "him," and us "us." Those things that you don't even realize you've noticed until they're no longer there.

The morning he left, he tucked his favorite t-shirt under the blanket on my bed, leaving it for me to find later that evening. Entrusting it to me must have been difficult for him. It's the only thing he has left that reminds him of a wonderful time in his life. But he knew how much it would mean to me to leave a piece of him behind, so he parted with it.

That night, I curled up in bed wearing his shirt. Then I moved to the couch, because I couldn't sleep without him next to me. I could smell him on me now, a combination of his soap and cologne, and I realized then how much I loved his scent. I knew right away I'd miss it, and I began to mentally form a list of all the things about him that I'd also miss over the next several weeks.

Going to sleep wrapped up in his arms, and waking up in the exact same spot.

Laying my head on his chest after we make love, talking about our future.

The smiles, hugs and kisses when I walk in the door.

Catching him taking a peek down the front of my shirt when he thinks I'm not looking...and the devilish grin on his face when he knows he's been busted.

The taste of his kisses.

Showers together in the morning.

The funny way he holds his knife when he cuts his food.

The way he reaches for my hand, even when we're having separate conversations with other people.

The way he looks at me. The way he sees right in to me.

His voice, and his funny accent.

His laugh.

His smile, and knowing it's just for me.

But most of all...

I miss the sense of calm and peace I feel just being next to him.

I'm going to sleep now, wearing his shirt, and when I wake up, I'll be one day closer to being with him again. Sweet dreams, everyone. I hope they're as wonderful as mine.

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