Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The Dream of Him ~ Conclusion...and Happy HNT

I know...the glasses are filthy. So sue me.

As we lay there, bodies still tangled up together, my questions for him had all but faded away. I knew that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and there was nothing that could be said between us that would make me want to leave him.

We talked freely now, like two people who have been together forever...people that truly know the deepest parts of one another. There was more discussion of the future, of love and of life. We kissed in between words...deep and passionate kisses that left his taste on my lips long after they were removed from his.

He smiled at me, and it was at once sweet and devilish. I knew what he wanted before he asked.

"I want you on top of me."

He put his hands on my hips and lifted me up, and in one swift movement, he slid beneath me. I moved each of my legs to either side of him and rested on my knees. I kissed his ears, his shoulders, his chest. I rose up on my knees to let him find me, and then eagerly took him inside me. I took my time with him at first. Slowly moving up and down, I teased the head of his penis. Then deeper, taking all of him in me, until we couldn't tell where my body ended and his began. We came quickly together, and I collapsed against his chest.

When I had finally caught my breath, I sat up, and looked at him. His handsome face was revealed to me whole, no longer hidden by shadows. I bent down to kiss him...to tell him how happy I was to be with him. I curled in to him, satisfied and exhausted, and we lay there for what seemed like hours.

Sunlight began to peek through the shades, and he stirred. He kissed my forehead, gently pulled away from me and stood.

"Where are you going? I asked.

"It's time for me to leave you now."

"But why? I just found you. Why do you have to leave?"

"Baby, you didn't find me. I've been here all along. You just couldn't see me."

"I don't understand."

"Don't you see? I'm the idea of everything you've ever wanted and needed."

"I know you are...so why do you have to go?"

"Because you have to wake up now. I've shown you what you can have, and now it's up to you to find me."

With those words and a kiss, he was gone. I laid there in my bed for a long time. Sadness and confusion consumed me. Hours passed. My sobbing turned to whimpers, and before I knew it, I had cried myself to sleep.

...

I woke up early, just as the sun was beginning to rise. I was tired, but also restless. It was as though I'd tossed and turned all night, but I wasn't exhausted.

Flashes of images came to me in waves. In my mind, I could see a man's face. He was beautiful and perfect, and he was smiling at me. Even through my morning fog, it was completely clear. Thoughts of hope and happiness filled me.

I walked to the bathroom, started the shower and undressed. I turned and caught sight of myself in the mirror. I was smiling, and all I wanted at that moment was to hurry up and start my day. He was out there somewhere, waiting for me to find him, and I didn't want to waste another second.

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