Monday, January 16, 2006

The Wizard Tried to Kill Me

You must forgive me, because my brain isn't functioning properly at the moment. A little too much Jameson, you see. But it's not all my fault. There were a few key players that contributed to my delinquency this weekend,and I'd like to personally thank each and every one of them. But first, a few things I learned during my journey to see the Wiz...

1. Apparently, refusal of Jameson or GM shots warrants the following response: "C'mon you pussy! Get it the game!" You have no choice but to shut up, drink it, and take it like a man.

2. There are specific moments in time when one is allowed to say "Yahtzee!" No more, no less. Over-use of the word is strictly prohibited.

3. There's real time, and then there's E-Time. If you have no sense of urgency WHATSOEVER, and are completely OK with it, you live on E-Time.

And now on to the thank you's...

To Mark: Thanks for swinging the hotel. You rock. I hope you'll come to Chicago soon, so I can properly return the favor.

To Brett, the Hotel day bartender: Thank you for not taking my bribe to hide the bottle of Jameson. Asshole.

To Krista, the Lounge bartender: Yes, I drink cider, and I love it. While hanging out with E is CLEARLY grounds for making fun of me, my selection of alcoholic beverages most certainly is not.

To Steve: Thanks for the lick. Oh, and thanks for telling me you'd do me. You're obviously aware of the fact that I'm in constant need of validation.

To Jeff, AKA Smokey Robinson: Thanks for calling me "baby." You're a man of few words, but what you do say comes out SO freaking smooth.

To the Pittsburg Steelers: Thanks for winning so E didn't throw up.

To Amy, the Sunday afternoon bartender: Thank you for being adorable, for taking care of us, and for informing me of the fact that GM "Smells like love." Who knew?

And of course...

To E: Thanks for being such a great host, showing me an awesome time, introducing me to cool people, getting me seriously wasted, and making me laugh my ass off. You're cool as hell, even if you have the day off today to recover while I slave away with my hangover in tow. I'm looking forward to my next trip to the Emerald City.

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