Monday, December 05, 2005

Add it Up

I've recently had the good fortune to meet some amazing people through my dearest friend, Mona. Specifically, two men whom I feel lucky to be able to call friends. With everything that has happened in my life as of late, these two gentlemen (I call them that because it is exactly what they are) have offered me a type insight about myself and my situation that lesser men could never be capable of.

Both unique, yet so similar to one another, there's a basic goodness in each of their souls that's palpable. Their combined life experiences include everything from the birth of children, break-ups of relationships, political power, financial windfalls, international celebrity, and even a bullet in the ass. To say that they've led full lives is an understatement. But more importantly, they've used what they've learned to make themselves in to the solid and good men they are today.

This past weekend, I was at a dinner party with the both of them, and separately they offered me two very valuable pieces of advice. But those pieces, when combined, add up to something so profound that it took me until last night to figure out how I should apply it to the rest of my life.

First, while discussing my recent break-up, Tim said to me, "Just always have options, and options give you leverage." Later, David handed me a letter, and in it, he said, "1 and 1 is 2. Or 11, if you want it to be. But it's certainly not 9." I'm not sure if it was the bottle of wine I'd had with dinner, or the exhaustion I felt for weeks of a life in relative chaos, but I was baffled. To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. Last night, however, while laying awake in bed, their words suddenly made sense.

I realized Tim had meant that I had choices, and with those choices comes a certain freedom. No one can hurt you if you can consciously decide not to let them. You can make your own path.

As for David, well, I believe he was trying to tell me that there are many different ways of looking at something. But there are also absolute certainties. One and one can never be nine, and that will never change. It's how you deal with those absolutes that makes you the person you are.

When you put it all together, it can only mean one thing. There are some things in this world that you will never be able to change. But there are some things you can, and it's up to you to make the right choices. It's the only way you'll ever really be happy.

Thanks for doing the math for me, boys. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

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