Monday, November 21, 2005

What Goes Around, Comes Around

I've never believed that saying more than I do tonight. I've worked long and hard to get what I want, and I've done it with patience, persistence and most of all, a great deal of thoughtfulness. The truth is, when you do good, you get good, and honey, tonight I got GREAT.

I've been dealing with a difficult situation for weeks, and it nearly crushed me. If you read my last post, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, suffice it to say that I thought I lost something, and someone, very dear to me.

I misread all the signs and I took everything the wrong way. I was angry, and sometimes spiteful. Believe me, I had many a reason to behave that way. He was definitely no angel. But somewhere, in the midst of all that chaos, and with the help of a very good friend, the solution hit me. Just take a step back, inhale deeply, and look at it from his point of view.

As human beings, we're programmed to automatically go on the offensive when we think we're being attacked. In relationships, we think that we can maintain our sense pride by pretending to believe that it's "all their fault." We lay the blame squarely on their shoulders, because the thought that we may actually be the one in the wrong is more than we can bear. What we rarely do, however, is try to see ourselves through the other person's eyes.

I've learned that I have to recognize and acknowledge what I've done to upset him, and more importantly, the root of where his frustrations lie. We all bring tenebrous events from our past into our current relationships. They shape who we are, and they help us to decide who we will and will not love. So if we can learn to understand those issues, even if we don't necessarily agree with them, then we're capable of giving those we love the respect they so rightly deserve. Better yet, we get it back tenfold.

He and I still have a ways to go. There will always be something to work on. Getting to know the depth of someone's heart takes a lifetime, and I'm not so foolish to think there won't be bumps along the road. But what I do know is this...I love him, and I'll do whatever it takes to make him happy. And I feel like a better person for it.

Things are certainly looking up.

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