Monday, December 11, 2006

The Post I'd Never Thought I'd Write

I've been doing a great deal of thinking about the state of this blog, and I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer keep it up. So many wonderful things have happened in my life lately, and for now, I want to focus on those things because they make me happy. That's not to say that this hasn't given me a great deal of joy over the past year, but other things simply take precedence at the moment.

To every one of you who have brightened my day by stopping by, I want to thank you. Your friendship and support has meant more to me than you'll probably ever know. And though I won't be writing any more, you can be sure that I'll still be keeping track of all of you.

Take care of yourselves. I'll miss you.

So, for one last time...



Friday, December 01, 2006

Not-So-Immaculate Conception

Am I the only one who finds this HILARIOUS? The 16 year-old girl who plays the Virgin Mary in the upcoming movie, Nativity Story, is KNOCKED UP.

I know I said I wouldn't post til the 18th, but I couldn't help myself.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Busy

Well, I hate to say it, but I've got waaaay too much on my plate at the moment to even think about coming up with something creative. Between a truckload of work and preparing for an upcoming vacation (yes, another one), I just won't have the time to post. I'd rather take a few weeks off than put up something ass-numbingly dull and insult your intelligence.

So, as it stands, don't expect to see anything new until the 18th of December. I hope you all won't forget me while I'm gone. Take care of yourselves. I'll be back before you know it.



ps...comments will be disabled while I'm away.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

They're Kidding, Right?

I went shopping last night for some, um, naughtier attire that I need for an upcoming trip. You know, the kind that they don't sell at Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood. In fact, I think even Freddy himself would turn his perverted little nose up at the sight of the kinds of things I bought.

Chicago has hundreds of these tiny little mom & pop stores that service a more "exotic" clientele. Of course, being that their product is lingerie, they need to have a strict return policy. Hygiene and all, you know. However, there's strict, and then there's down-right funny. Here's an actual picture of my receipt. I swear, this is real. I couldn't make this shit up.

I'll leave you to your laughter.



Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Not So Friendly Skies

I just got back from another wonderful trip to NYC. I had a blast, and can't wait to get back there soon. The only part I dread is getting there.

I've been traveling a good deal lately, and I have to tell you, I'm beginning to like flying less and less. I used to get excited before a trip. I loved sitting in airports. I would watch everyone and create stories about where they were going and what their lives were like. On the plane, the seat belt wasn't for my safety, but rather something to hold me back from jumping out of my seat from the anticipation of what lay ahead on my journey. Now it's all I can do not to use it to hang myself with.

It's bad enough that we're already forced to deal with weather issues, over-booked flights, delays for repairs and security checks. There's nothing we can do about these things. One would think that being in the same boat with 300 other passengers would be a bonding experience. Yet we're constantly adding to the annoyance level by acting like complete shits and making our already miserable experience worse.

The truth is, cramped quarters really do bring out the worst in people. There are a lot of selfish people out there who, for whatever reason, completely forget about the collective "we" factor when stuck in an uncomfortable spot and focus only on the "I." I can't tell you how many times I've seen some jackass completely go off on a poor gate agent because a flight is delayed or cancelled, as if their life was the only one affected. We've all witnessed this kind of behavior at one time or another.

So, sitting on my VERY delayed flight, I began to make a list of all the crappy things that I've either seen or had happen to me while flying the "friendly" skies. Of course, when I finished it, I knew I'd post it here as another of my Public Service Announcements. I swear to you, each and every situation below HAS happened to me. If I can save just one of you, I've done my job. So here you go...

Trixie's Guide To Being a Polite Airline Passenger

DO NOT change your child's diaper IN THE SEAT between other passengers. What kind of person does this? CRAP belongs in the bathroom.

DO keep the volume down on your ipod. There's a reason they come with other people don't have to hear your shitty choice in music.

DO NOT use your tray table, or the seat in front of you as a drum set.

DO tell your children to stop kicking the seat in front of them. Tie their ankles together if you have to.

DO NOT continuously crack your knuckles, or your gum, or you'll get my hand cracked over your head.

DO bathe and apply deodorant before your flight.

DO NOT bathe in your perfume or cologne before your flight.

DO brush your teeth before your flight. NOTHING is worse than sitting next to someone with halitosis for three hours.

DO NOT talk loudly on your cell phone before takeoff and after landing. The whole cabin does not want to hear how you fucked some guy from Jersey this weekend.

DO turn your electronics off when they ask you to. They won't take off until you do, you jerkoff.

DON'T knowingly try to carry on a bag that's too overstuffed to fit in the overhead compartment. Check that shit. I don't want to wait while they gate-check your bag.

DO observe the personal space of the people sitting next to you. I don't want your fucking thigh on me for the duration of a four hour flight.

DO NOT behave in a way that would require anyone on the plane to use the word "asshole" in reference to you.

DO sit down, shut up and let the rest of us travel in peace.

I think that's all I've got for now. Anyone care to add something else?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Happy Anniversary To Me

Exactly one year ago today, Bated Breath became a part of my life. Looking back on that first post, I wondered if I had any idea how this whole thing would affect my life. I think about the person I was then, to the one I am now, and though I'm still fundamentally the same, there are a few things about me that have changed. I think it's got something to do with the words being therapeutic. Once they started coming out, everything else in my life began to get better. It's amazing the difference a year can make in your life.

I'll be eternally grateful to this blog (and therefore, myself) for what it's given me. I've been allowed to reach out, to meet so many wonderful people that I may have never had the opportunity to know had it not been for this...people I couldn't imagine living my life without now. You all know who you are. I don't think I need to name names. Sure, there have been some regrets along the way, too. There are things that I would have liked to have said - and done - differently. But I can't change that now, and my only choice is to look forward to the wonderful things that lay before me.

So, before this starts to sound like a bad karaoke version of Sinatra's "My Way," I'd like to end this with a few thank you's. Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for caring. Most importantly, thank you for letting me be ME.



Thursday, November 16, 2006

Screw THAT!

What do you get when you cross menstrual cramps that make one feel as if they're being stabbed to death, and enough bloating to make a girl feel like a beached whale? Answer:

A very pissed off Trixie

What don't you get? Answer:


Do I give a shit whether anyone likes it or not? Answer:

Not in the slightest.